Thursday, September 17, 2009

Dear Jehovah's witnesses,

The best way to curry favor when you ring my doorbell and interrupt my morning is not to exclaim, "Oh! You're a foreigner!" before asking me if I've accepted Christ into my heart.


  1. sounds familiar. in fact, just tonight an old man from asahi newspaper came to my door. i was a little slow getting to the door, so he just started talking through the door (love that - it's like they know you're just pretending not to be home). as i opened it, he barely missed a beat to say, "あ〜新聞はダメですね" while putting his hand up as to say sorry and then moving quickly onto my neighbor.

    it's like, "hey, yeah thanks, i'm glad we got THAT huge issue that actually matters taken care of! now, what can i help you with?"


  2. It's times like these where actually pretending to speak LESS Japanese than I do works in my favor. Please piss off, bible thumpers and newsprint-hawkers. I even have one of those no soliciting signs on my door. On second thought, I think it says no fushinsha. I guess Jehovah's witnesses don't think they're fushinsha.

  3. May Jehovah's name be sanctified through his only begotten son Jesus Christ, forever and ever, as we, His Witnesses look forward to God's righteous new kingdom, where ALL sorts of unrighteousness will not be. Amen.