Wednesday, May 05, 2010
The last few years, I haven't been able to stay awake on airplanes. I settle in, stow my stuff, snuff my electronics, and fall promptly to sleep.
I wake up a mere few minutes later when my rowmate presses the call button, summoning the flight attendant to our seats. He wants a drink, and after she explains the different options and prices in great detail, he decides on red wine. Drowsily I observe as, a little while later, she comes back with the drink, leaning across me to hand it to him. I doze off again.
Ten or fifteen minutes later, I wake up again. Sumimasen, he says, wanting to squeeze past me to the toilet. I move my knees sideways, into the aisle, and let him pass, then again to let him in when he came back.
DING DONG, CALL BUTTON
He wants a blanket. She goes to retrieve it, putting her boobs in my face as she leans over to give it to him. Is he trying to get a date?
Ten minutes later:
White wine this time.
Drinks up, BATHROOM BREAK. I move, he goes, comes back. I'm rolling my eyes now.
Newspaper. This is a two and a half hour flight, people. The air hostesses are apparently saints. An American stewardess would have kneed him in the nuts by now.
Bottled water. Cold or room temp? Cold. She comes back with it.
BATHROOM BREAK. This time he attempts to speak English to me, though I have given no indication of my nationality or language. I glower at him and he backs off.
Oh god, we're finally landing. In Naha, he gets on the same monorail train as me, and I quickly switch cars. Strangers who ruin my sleep get no mercy.