mister congeniality

The flight from Haneda to Naha is two thirds full, and I find myself in the aisle C seat of a six-across 737, toward the aft. Though I normally like the window seat (easier to sleep), I had been given the aisle and was glad that the center seat, at least, was vacant. I figure that it's only a two-point-five-hour flight, no great hardship. The guy on the window is already seated, clutching a can chu-hi to his chest, which he cracks as we start rolling down the tarmac.

The last few years, I haven't been able to stay awake on airplanes.  I settle in, stow my stuff, snuff my electronics, and fall promptly to sleep.

I wake up a mere few minutes later when my rowmate presses the call button, summoning the flight attendant to our seats. He wants a drink, and after she explains the different options and prices in great detail, he decides on red wine. Drowsily I observe as, a little while later, she comes back with the drink, leaning across me to hand it to him. I doze off again.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, I wake up again. Sumimasen, he says, wanting to squeeze past me to the toilet. I move my knees sideways, into the aisle, and let him pass, then again to let him in when he came back.

Sleepy... ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
DING DONG, CALL BUTTON

He wants a blanket. She goes to retrieve it, putting her boobs in my face as she leans over to give it to him. Is he trying to get a date?

Ten minutes later:
CALL BUTTON

White wine this time.
Drinks up, BATHROOM BREAK. I move, he goes, comes back. I'm rolling my eyes now.

CALL BUTTON.

Newspaper. This is a two and a half hour flight, people. The air hostesses are apparently saints. An American stewardess would have kneed him in the nuts by now.

CALL BUTTON.

Bottled water. Cold or room temp? Cold. She comes back with it.

BATHROOM BREAK. This time he attempts to speak English to me, though I have given no indication of my nationality or language. I glower at him and he backs off.

Oh god, we're finally landing. In Naha, he gets on the same monorail train as me, and I quickly switch cars. Strangers who ruin my sleep get no mercy.